Toxic Relationship Test — Are You in One?

Healthy relationships have disagreements, distance, and bad days. Toxic relationships have patterns — repeated behaviours that erode your sense of self, safety, and joy. Our Toxic Relationship Test helps you see those patterns clearly, without judgement, in about two minutes.

This isn't a quiz that tells you to break up. It's a mirror. You answer ten honest questions about how things go between you and your partner, and we tell you which patterns to watch and which behaviours are working.

What counts as "toxic"?

Therapists generally describe a relationship as toxic when it consistently includes some combination of: chronic disrespect, control, contempt, jealousy, emotional or physical fear, manipulation, gaslighting, or stonewalling. Crucially, the pattern is what matters — not a single bad fight.

The opposite of toxic isn't "perfect." Healthy relationships still have hard moments. What separates them is repair: do you come back together after a fight? Do you take responsibility? Do you feel safer afterward, not smaller?

Common toxic patterns the quiz screens for

• Constant criticism — feeling like nothing you do is enough
• Walking on eggshells — moderating your behaviour to avoid their reaction
• Gaslighting — being told your reality or memory is wrong
• Isolation — losing friends or hobbies because of the relationship
• Score-keeping — fights that bring up everything that's ever gone wrong
• Stonewalling — silent treatment used as punishment
• Jealousy disguised as love — controlling behaviour framed as care
• One-sided effort — you always reach out, plan, repair, apologise

Your result

The quiz returns one of four results: Healthy, Mostly Healthy with Work to Do, Concerning Patterns, or Highly Toxic. Each result includes a brief explanation of what to watch and what to do next — including when to talk to a friend, a therapist, or a hotline.

What to do with a "toxic" result

A toxic result is information, not a directive. You decide what to do with it. Common next steps:

1. Talk to someone you trust outside the relationship.
2. Journal the specific behaviours that surfaced in the quiz. Patterns are clearer on paper.
3. Set one small boundary and observe how your partner responds. Their reaction tells you a lot.
4. Consider couples or individual therapy. A trained third party changes the dynamic.
5. In abusive situations, prioritise safety. Reach out to a domestic violence hotline (in the US: 1-800-799-7233).

You deserve a relationship where you feel like yourself

If anything in the quiz hits hard, that's worth taking seriously. You don't have to figure this out alone — and the bar for "good enough" should be higher than "they're not hitting me."

⚠️ This quiz is for self-reflection. It is not a substitute for professional help. If you are in danger, contact emergency services or a domestic violence hotline immediately.